A Forgotten Love Story

 

Intro: A thriving woman who her employees believe is cold, has a secret photo of the man she loves in her desk. She remembers the heartbreaking past and how she got here because of him, but was it worth the cost of a final goodbye.

        

        
           “She never smiles and hardly takes a day off.” one whispers.

“I know, but she probably can’t make friends, she seems boring. So maybe working is all she has…but let’s stop before she hears us and we’re fired.” another added. They both snicker as they walk past my office. They think I can’t hear them but I can. I close the door and blinds and pull out an old photo. It was me and a man who I loved with all my heart. When I look at this photo the coldness leaves and tears fill my eyes. “A forgotten love story” I mumbled to myself. I think back to the time when I was just like those girls who were talking about me. Yes, I had few friends but I didn’t need them because I had him. He was my world and my light on the darkest of days. When I was at my worst, he was always there for me. 

I think back to the day we met. I was young and he was standing on post at a bank for his security company. I was scared back then to approach him because he was much older than me, but after taking a step of courage, I talked to him and got his number. We started out as friends, nothing romantic and I didn’t expect us to be more because he had kids and his time was full. So, we talked here and there and even went out to breakfast. He told me stories of his past jobs and from each passing moment, I felt my feelings grow deeper. I never told him how I felt, but it eventually all came out on the day we kissed. I thought he would regret it, I thought he would ghost me, but he came back. 

It took us a while to express our feelings and when he didn’t care about the little life experience I had, it made me happy. Eventually, through our relationship grew a connection that was hard to break. It was hard to be away from him and when he lost someone important to him, he grew distant. Death is never easy on anyone and having that lack of awareness made me selfish. He was going through a lot and we got into a fight. I thought that would be the end of us, but he forgave me. He accepted my bratty side and still chose to love me. Since then we stayed together for almost two years, until we messed up big time. 

That big mess almost made him lose his child and we both felt horrible. It was then he decided he had to make the hard decision of letting me go. He wanted to focus on his own future for his kids and had to stop being selfish. I was heartbroken and to be honest didn’t want to say “okay” but I felt guilty for him almost losing his child. Even though there was no longer a title, the love was still there. I didn’t want to say a final goodbye so, I asked him if we could be F.W.B and I thought he would say “no” but he said okay. Back then I knew deep down inside, he didn’t want to let me go. 

So, when the FWB happened, it was like nothing had changed between us. There was just no public relationship for the people to see. We still went out to the movies, played cards, went bowling, and etc. When we were alone, we banged. We were both filled with joy to still have each other. Of course there were times when we both grew insecure and we thought the other was flirting with another, but we talked it out and still remained loyal to each other. He saw a future with me and I was willing to wait. Four years passed and he was so close to coming back until his career got in the way.

His career grew and he became an office corp and he loved his new job. I was happy for him and all the achievements he gained. Plus, he still made time to come see me even though he was busy. I appreciated those efforts, but as he grew, the hope of us ever getting back together became distant. Life attacked him left to right with family drama, growing bills, and job responsibilities. He felt pulled in every direction and instead of trying to console him, things got worse between us. I tried my best to stay busy but I could never stop thinking about him. Soon the outings stopped and the sex was barely there anymore. Like the young woman I was, I tried to hang with him but he never had the time and soon we were in his car talking.

“I’m not blind to what you have been trying to do. I know you still have ‘hope’ for us to get back together, and don’t you ever think I don’t want you too. I want to be with you and I can see myself with you…but it’s not fair to you to have you keep waiting. I have so much shit on my plate and I have to prioritize my life first. I need to rise in this career for my kids so the struggle can stop. Plus, I have to depend on a woman, I don’t want around and because I don’t trust her, I can’t leave her alone with my kids for too long to come around and see you. You deserve more, my love, you deserve real companionship and someone who will give you more time. I don’t know when I can provide that. I will always love you, but I can’t keep you waiting with all my baggage. Focus on you and find someone who can give you everything I can’t. Even though I may be strongly telling you this, this is still hard on me too because I can’t be what you deserve.” he explained. 

Tears fill my eyes because I know nothing I say will make him change his mind. It hurt so hard because everywhere I went, I was reminded of him. I didn’t know how to turn our memories into strength, instead they made me fall. A love that was found in the wrong place and the wrong time. Sometimes I want to say ‘I wish I never met him’ but that meant missing out on all the happiness I gained. He stood by me through my depression and still loved me for me. I still want this man, but time flew by and he never came back. I tried dating but he was still on my mind for me to commit to what he wanted me to have. So, I threw myself into my work. It didn’t help the heartache and I wanted to give up. Then I remember he was in pain too and that gave me the strength to keep moving forward.

Present…

I look around at my office and I am thankful for everything I have achieved. It will never fill the void in my heart and I wish he could see me now. Would he be proud? A girl who was barely out of college has become a success, but at what cost. I wipe the tears from my eyes and hold on to the necklace he gave me as I kiss the photo and put it away. Bing!

I looked at my phone and couldn’t believe my eyes. 

“I love you and I am proud of you.” it read. I didn’t want the office to hear me, but I didn’t care. I cry like a baby while holding the phone to my chest.

“I love you too…always”