Our Shadows
Intro: You are chosen to join the Shadow Clan but you must face your biggest nightmare and greatest regrets to make it through. Can you survive the past for a better future?
The Shadow Clan is a place where all your sadness, anger, and regret is thrown away and you are set free to start over with a new life. Some people called them a hoax, but at this point in my life, I was out of options. I tried medication, therapy, and even extracurricular activities to help clear my mind and think positive for once. I tried so hard and still this heart broken state of mind never went away. I felt like an odd ball and a bore to others. So afraid to leave my box because I couldn’t love myself with confidence like my peers.
So, I found this ad on the back of a newspaper (yes, a newspaper for all you Gen Z babies) and I gave them a call. They gave me their address which was a simple thirty minute drive. I arrive at this normal looking house and when I ring the doorbell, an old lady with long black hair and red eyes answers the door.
“Hello, I am looking for Grimace.” I spoke. She looks me up and down with a questionable look. Then she lets me inside. We walk to an old looking Victorian style door and she turns the holy cross on the door. She twists the knob and opens the door. I step inside with no fear. Usually someone in this situation would run, but I have become so numb to life that I didn’t care what happened to me. My family is scattered and barely notices my existence. Even my own mother finds me sarcastic and annoying with my tone of voice. The door closes behind me and when I look down a red pentagram is on the floor.
It glows red and fire appears and when the flames subside, I see a tall figure in a cloak. They stare at me with their purple eyes. They removed their hood and a man who looked around my age was holding out his hand.
“I am Grimace. You have summoned me for help to be reborn?” he stated.
“Yes…but how?” I questioned.
“People or Humans are so closed minded that they believe nothing more exists in this world but medicine. If you open your mind to something greater and trust me, then I promise this pentagram will heal you of your mental illness.” he explained. I looked at the pentagram and saw it was formed to represent light and not flipped upside-down to represent the darkness. I know trusting him could be dangerous, but I wanted to be free of this heartbreak and depression. I take a breath and take his hand. He pulls me close to him and when I look into his eyes, I feel the world around me fade away.
“Don’t let your fears win…” he whispered.
I open my eyes and find myself in a dark room. Completely black and cold. I see a light from afar and begin to walk. I reach a bronze door and pull it open. I enter a high school building and my heart drops. I was back in my old high school. I see my old self walk past a group of girls.
“Look at her and her big head.”
“Not to mention that ponytail and headband. She still dresses like a grammar school kid. I bet no boy here would bother with her.”
“Plus not to mention she hardly talks and only hangs out with three other people who are way more interesting than her. I wonder what they see in her?”
“Can’t be much considering they never hang out with her after school and I heard she tries so bad to make plans with them but something always comes up.”
“Poor girl, she is going to be a virgin forever. The only appealing thing about her is her huge breast. No ass and who wants a girl with brains.” I hear them all speak and I see the old me ignore it and walk along with my friends, but on the inside it hurts like hell.
It took me a while to learn teenagers could be cruel, but back then I wanted to not be so nice and fight them. I fought them until they bled on the floor, but I wasn’t strong enough to fight. If I could tell those bitches how they all become young mothers and work at McDonald's and receive help through the state, then that would make me happy. I follow my old self until I reach a silver double door. My old shelf turns to smoke and before I could reach the door, a hand grabs me. It was one of the high school bullies and she looked at me with a twisted smile.
“Where are you going fat head, I need to copy your homework and in exchange I'll tell the other girls to stop talking about you.” she whispered. I look at her as her grip tightens. I knew what the old me would have said, but this was my second chance to change myself and become stronger. I raise my hand and slap her across the face. She releases me.
“Do it yourself, bitch.” I said while pushing open the doors. That felt good but this next sense I walked into would probably break me. I was outside my home and there HE was sitting on my step. This was almost seven years ago when I thought me and him should be honest with one another. I loved this man and was falling for him quickly and I didn’t want to keep my happy face on without him knowing the truth.
“Being with you these past two months have been amazing, but I need to tell you that I'm not always this dramatic and happy. I suffer from depression and can be a Debbie downer and not have positivity all the time. Is this okay before we go any further?” I spoke. We sit there for a second and then he smiles.
“Hell no. I got enough baggage as it is and to deal with yours for who knows how long with no change insight is something you can deal with on your own. I tend to push people away because of my own problems but I would push you away because of that. No man wants a woman who is sad, not positive, and might even try to kill herself one day. I’m out.” he replied. My own eyes go wide at his reply because that is not what he said originally. He told me he was okay with that, but now when I look back at what has happened between us, this is what I believed to be his truth.
A tear goes down my eye and the scene changes. This scene was six years later and I was talking to him on the phone.
“You like being negative. I don’t like clingy women, I like a woman who focuses on herself and her work drive. Stop focusing on us and our past. We were never a couple so stop saying that. You focus on the titles too much. I love you but you need to focus on yourself and move on.” he said. It was around this time we were only ‘friends’ and after calling me his ‘one’, that all changed when more of my true nature came out.
He wanted honesty and I gave him that and when we tried to bring up ‘us’, he mentioned my flaws and looked the other way. I didn’t even know if he saw me with the same love anymore. All I knew was he deserved better, instead of a kid. I remember instead of having a voice, I cried because it got too hard and became more depressed. I blamed myself for us falling apart because no matter how hard I tried to be positive, it never lasted. I watch myself drop the phone and run to my room. I can’t help but cry too. Not just because I felt played but because he was right. Since this day, no man has looked my way and I'm often alone. I don’t want to spread my negativity to anyone else.
I dropped to the floor and didn’t know what to do. No other doors were appearing and the room got cold. I look at my old phone and take a breath. I pick up the phone.
“Hello…”
“Look…” I said cutting him off. “...I told you from day one who I was and you said that was okay. But since you continue to have a problem with my mentality, you find yourself a woman who is work driven, confident, positive and a real woman. Goodbye, I will always love you.” I explained, as I ended the call. Tears flow down my face at the pain of a loss and unrequited love. I feel the warmth come back and a gold door appears. I quickly run through it and I am back in this dark room. The pentagram appears below me and when I look back up the high school girls and him were there. Their eyes were glowing red and as they walked closer something told me to run. To run from them and be scared, but I didn’t listen and stayed there.
One tries to touch me and her hand goes through me. He tries to kiss me and he walks right past me. They were like shadows of the past who could no longer bother me. I sit on the pentagram and concentrate on my breathing. They kept trying to grab me and speak to me but I ignored them. The girls were easy but he was hard. He was my first everything and an amazing friend throughout all the fighting, but he deserved better. I didn’t want to say this to him but I had to let go.
“Shadows of my past be gone!” I yelled. The room shakes and the darkness is gone. I am back in the room I arrived in and the man is still holding me.
“Congratulations on not falling to the shadows. You have passed the test and can now be set free and reborn.” he spoke. I see his face turn into a leather face demon and fangs descend from his mouth.
“In your next life you will be more confident and accepting of your beauty and personality, Jasmine. May you finally rest in peace.” He tears into my neck and as blood drips down my body, my mind is finally free and at peace.
‘Welcome to the Shadow Clan….’
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